tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62226832568799659722024-03-12T22:59:14.739-06:00Reflections of a Lonely Dreamer~BeX~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11952871573522568613noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222683256879965972.post-82103687118179796302011-03-22T21:00:00.105-06:002011-03-22T21:00:04.176-06:00Birthday 3 Days Early... Or Why My Roommates Are Awesome<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Dear Readers,</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">As some of you might know, today is my birthday. And I have not been looking forward to it for a few reasons. The biggest reason is that I don't like the idea of turning 28. But more about that later. The other reason I wasn't looking forward to my birthday with happy anticipation is because I was planning to spend it alone. It just so happens that spring break was that week for my roommate Angela, as well as her mom (who's a teacher in Arizona.) They (Angela, Megan, and Momma W.) planned a fun trip to California to visit Angela and Megan's oldest brother and his year-old son whom they've never met. Don't get me wrong, I don't begrudge them the time spent with their family. I wanted them to go. It just sucks that it falls on the same week as my much-dreaded birthday. So I resigned myself to ignoring my birthday and spending the week alone. And then I came home from work on Saturday.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">And found this...</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAE_P_bJD8iLccZH4lLSrCQicxLKuHGj_dH7JmOzeclc0GuicRluTGoJtywWJT93slpg9-ag7kpJB2V3syAHgnSQcKepvoRWBRMyjcjGAsmywbiPgqvFHOVzxlVOPcWTa0pdGXohSHBX4/s1600/108_0001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAE_P_bJD8iLccZH4lLSrCQicxLKuHGj_dH7JmOzeclc0GuicRluTGoJtywWJT93slpg9-ag7kpJB2V3syAHgnSQcKepvoRWBRMyjcjGAsmywbiPgqvFHOVzxlVOPcWTa0pdGXohSHBX4/s400/108_0001.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />
Small, simple, and touching beyond belief. Also waiting for me was this...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrFlb4nglsXVeVyyDpWaNT1RYWXHG5P8NX_EF0-GFTijE5-FgAXIu_5CZJj0ofYQpw5ROeeOOp0mk8Lgyx71YNGEvrP8B4R0cwrmyxRrleW56R37hQV-Uv4n_q97Q8E4WRHOeQERFEETo/s1600/108_0005.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrFlb4nglsXVeVyyDpWaNT1RYWXHG5P8NX_EF0-GFTijE5-FgAXIu_5CZJj0ofYQpw5ROeeOOp0mk8Lgyx71YNGEvrP8B4R0cwrmyxRrleW56R37hQV-Uv4n_q97Q8E4WRHOeQERFEETo/s400/108_0005.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />
Yes, this picture was taken after we had attacked the cake. We just couldn't wait! In case you can't tell, that's chocolate cake with strawberry frosting. Megan also made a delicious strawberry sugar glaze with real strawberries to drizzle on top. I love strawberries!<br />
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So after hanging out for a few minutes I went into my room. I wish I had gotten a photo of what I saw, but you'll just have to make due with my description. My room was full of balloons! They were everywhere...on my bed, on my dresser, covering the floor! And sitting in the middle of my bed was this...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXTWsrPf1zIMm9znWaeWQwW7zLQiBF-6k5xUbdEfY_K7bJ83BS5oZu-YMwdLI-yT4bbCEyEV-2f7wKzFbHeg_Dz9DEkERRYORH2fc3sHhtMHRR9vkQKeOO9JiItlQcQ_t1Pm47unXH18Y/s1600/108_0002.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; height: 169px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; width: 264px;"><img border="0" height="150" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXTWsrPf1zIMm9znWaeWQwW7zLQiBF-6k5xUbdEfY_K7bJ83BS5oZu-YMwdLI-yT4bbCEyEV-2f7wKzFbHeg_Dz9DEkERRYORH2fc3sHhtMHRR9vkQKeOO9JiItlQcQ_t1Pm47unXH18Y/s200/108_0002.JPG" width="200" /></a></div> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6OFguidg17X5__HuEK3Yo5jFmwBEiqBmYA4ThS3DuuDJa1coFga-T71f6RA4KosI7iCYHWg3_XhdmLGTyzesHrd4v56e91lX9jDUGJb2idr9WuMTcxqPSHL-EvEt7WehyljoVs6OjI-o/s1600/108_0006.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6OFguidg17X5__HuEK3Yo5jFmwBEiqBmYA4ThS3DuuDJa1coFga-T71f6RA4KosI7iCYHWg3_XhdmLGTyzesHrd4v56e91lX9jDUGJb2idr9WuMTcxqPSHL-EvEt7WehyljoVs6OjI-o/s200/108_0006.JPG" width="200" /></a><br />
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</div><div align="left">What's inside the bag? Thanks for asking! I'll show you!</div><div align="left"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQyJJRl36PjN83VXKBhUW7jMFE5TrOpqZA1KiiDuE9kf4KA_BYhifRVwqGOr6jGEOa37LT9AbOhnsZjwAKaWOaAZepfsungdSEUShjUkIJ1KRXQFv2M6zSaLMQ8NugoCkd9fYmRX8U-rI/s1600/108_0004.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQyJJRl36PjN83VXKBhUW7jMFE5TrOpqZA1KiiDuE9kf4KA_BYhifRVwqGOr6jGEOa37LT9AbOhnsZjwAKaWOaAZepfsungdSEUShjUkIJ1KRXQFv2M6zSaLMQ8NugoCkd9fYmRX8U-rI/s320/108_0004.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Awesome! Popcorn, Snickers, Baby Ruth, Twix, Butterfinger, and Tinkerbell socks! And then the girls told me that every balloon in my room had at least one note hidden inside. And so I spent the next I-don't-know-how-long popping balloons to get to the notes! I thought my ears were never going to stop ringing, but this is what I found:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyxZwIM3fonKPlKst2r2YgmK1fdUeEoYoeJYZ-VGdKpUoH_TlxcghPPOXUj3cuuKLR4HPpGOXI2VUOrx9e6SxDi3Zr_nhYj3nkujtBC2eC6dh0rLeD1YimLG0mTHPUfRh7469NY88ToQ0/s1600/14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="408" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyxZwIM3fonKPlKst2r2YgmK1fdUeEoYoeJYZ-VGdKpUoH_TlxcghPPOXUj3cuuKLR4HPpGOXI2VUOrx9e6SxDi3Zr_nhYj3nkujtBC2eC6dh0rLeD1YimLG0mTHPUfRh7469NY88ToQ0/s640/14.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left">HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're probably wondering what some of those mean. Well, guess what. So am I! And so are Megan and Angela! It's hard to come up with enough meaningful things to fill all those balloons, so things are bound to get a bit silly. And add in the fact that they were doing this in the middle of the night to keep me from catching on and goofiness reigns supreme! But that's what I love about my roommates. Not every moment has to mean something. And the things that we never thought would become running jokes are sometimes the funniest we have. But if you, dear reader, are perishing with curiosity over one or two of these, leave a comment and I'll do my best to explain. </div><div align="left"><br />
</div><div align="left">After dinner and cake my girls and I watched watching the final two episodes of Monk (and finally learned who killed Trudy!) and then they took me Cosmic Bowling. I don't have pics of this, either, but it was a good time. None of us bowl well, but we have a good time making fun of ourselves and the terrible rap music the bowling alley played all night long. And then we came home and watched The Blind Side. (Amazing movie. If you haven't seen it, watch it!) It was a great night with even greater people. I seriously love my roommates! </div><div align="left"><br />
</div><div align="left">Who can be lonely with friends like these?</div><div align="left">~Your Dreamer</div>~BeX~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11952871573522568613noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222683256879965972.post-64888616320739442302011-02-25T19:49:00.002-07:002011-02-25T19:51:31.019-07:00BelieverDear Readers,<br />
<br />
I did something today that I haven't done in quite a long time. I wrote a poem, start to finish. The end result wasn't the poem I started out to write. In my head it was a depressing thing, ending on a note of "Why not me?" On paper... it's this:<br />
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<u><span style="font-size: large;"><em>Believer</em></span></u><br />
<br />
I believe in fairy tales<br />
And gifts sent from above<br />
In dragon tales and fairy wings<br />
And real, unending love.<br />
<br />
I believe that riches<br />
Can't buy you happiness<br />
And I believe in true respect-<br />
Nothing more and nothing less.<br />
<br />
I believe in candy rain<br />
And chocolate snowflakes, too<br />
In lemon flavored sunbeams<br />
Sugar crystals from the moon.<br />
<br />
I believe that peace and joy<br />
Come first from deep inside<br />
I believe in holding tight<br />
to every scrap of it you find.<br />
<br />
2-25-11<br />
<br />
~ Your Lonley Dreamer~BeX~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11952871573522568613noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222683256879965972.post-61324451956597214172011-02-14T22:49:00.000-07:002011-02-14T22:49:50.872-07:00A Valentine's Wish ListDear Readers,<br />
<br />
Here we are: Valentine's Day. And since I'm single it's not really much fun to watch my friends on Face Book change their profile pics to lovey-dovey photos of themselves and their significant others. But it's got me thinking about things I'd like to have in a future partner. Without further ado, I present my Valentine's Day Wish List. (In no particular order.)<br />
<ul><li>Respect. I've met people who never think of others. Guys who loudly use swear words in public places filled with children. Who make other people's lives and jobs harder on purpose. I cannot spend time with these people. If he can't or doesn't respect people he may never see again, how much respect will he show to me? Not enough, in my opinion.</li>
<li>Romance. One day at work I helped a guy find a gift for his girlfriend. As I was ringing up the purchase I asked him if it was her birthday, or another special occasion. He replied that she'd had a long day. He'd just dropped her off at work at another store in the mall, and decided to buy her a gift and head back to her work place to give it to her, just to brighten her day. With The Stupid I can remember coming home to 2 dozen roses, just because he said he loved me. And then there was prom night, when he borrowed his mom's van, blindfolded me, and drove us out to the middle of the desert. We had fried chicken and Mountain Dew completely alone under the stars. These gestures are important. Girls like to know they're being thought of, even when we're not around.</li>
<li>Sense of Humor. I love to laugh, and to make others laugh. Not many people find me funny. I guess my humor's...unique. But every once in a while I say something that gets a genuine laugh. I need a guy that loves to laugh and makes me laugh. Laughter is healing. But not all humor is the "ha ha" kind. A good sense of irony and sarcasm is important, too.</li>
<li>Listening. There have been many occasions in which I have been telling a story, or commenting on something that has been said, and the group I'm with just talks right over me. It makes me feel small, stupid, and unloved. My comments may not always be amazingly insightful, but they do deserve to be heard.</li>
<li>Culture. I love music, books, art, theater. People that are lucky enough to spend time with me generally love one or more of the same. Those that can teach me something about those subjects without being belittling have a special quality that is a little hard to resist. </li>
<li>Love. A life without passion isn't worth living. I need a man who loves me, loves his family, and loves his friends. Love is the only thing that keeps me alive, and it must be reciprocated. I love with my whole heart, always. I expect the same in return (and yet am surprised when I get it.)</li>
</ul>Those might just be my top 6 qualities that I need in a mate. Reading over them, they seem to paint a portrait of a polished man who has it all together. But that's not the image I have. I like a guy a little rough around the edges. Messy hair, tattoos, and a bit of a free spirit. Physical appearance isn't so important, though. I don't really have a "type." Attraction is key, and can surprise you in its packaging sometimes. <br />
<br />
So what do you think, Readers? Am I setting my sights too high? Do men like that actually exist? If they do, would they ever be interested in... me?<br />
<br />
Wishing on a star<br />
~Your Lonely Dreamer~BeX~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11952871573522568613noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222683256879965972.post-79341575288536071542011-02-13T22:26:00.000-07:002011-02-13T22:26:15.964-07:00Thanksgiving and ChristmasDear Readers,<br />
<br />
I hope you're ready for a photo intensive post today, Readers! I know that tomorrow is Valentine's Day, but let's go back in time a bit and catch you up on Thanksgiving and Christmas. <br />
<br />
For Thanksgiving my wonderful "adoptive" family came all the way from Mesa, Az and farther to spend the holiday with us. We all went to Aunt and Uncle's for Thanksgiving dinner, along with about 30 other family members.<br />
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This is the beautiful Megan. She's been a better friend to me than I deserve. She's one of my two awesome roommates.<br />
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And this is the amazing Angela. She's my other roommate, and another friend that I absolutely could not live without. Incidentally, she's Megan's sister and it was their family that came to visit.<br />
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The beautiful lady is the matriarch of the Willis family and my "momsie." <br />
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These are Meg and Ang's darling nieces. Haylie's the blond and that's Mackenzie with the crazy face. They belong to the stud in the middle of this pic:<br />
<br />
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</div>That's "dad", Jarom, and "dad's" brother. And me, smushed in the corner; trying unsuccessfully to stay out of the picture! I love the way Dad's arm is around Jarom, and Jarom's is around Uncle Rick! So precious!<br />
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And this handsome fellow is Jordan, youngest of the 4 brothers, stuck right between Meg and Ang in the family tree. It's always so good to spend time with such an amazing group of people! It was a great day filled with delicious food and superb company! Oh, and check out these adorable table decorations! I wish I could have been there to see the boys work so hard to get them set up just so.<br />
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<br />
Sadly, the family couldn't make it up for Christmas, and we couldn't make it down to Arizona (or Texas in my case, to see my biological family.) But we put up some cute decorations:<br />
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</div> And made our own Christmas card!<br />
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I'm sorry if you didn't get one and feel left out. I think I sent 2 of these. I'm terrible at this kind of stuff!<br />
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And I did a couple of Christmas themed manicures.<br />
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<br />
On Christmas Day we went back to Aunt and Uncle's for brunch and then came home for a Skype Christmas. We called the Willis family and all opened presents together. I only wish I could have done the same with my family in Texas. <br />
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And that's pretty much the story of the holidays around here. If I were a better blogger I would have blogged things as I went: decorating the tree, shopping for gifts, baking cookies (which I didn't even do. I came home to them one night after work.) I promise I'll try to be better at keeping you informed. For now, I'm signing off.<br />
<br />
~Your Lonely Dreamer~BeX~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11952871573522568613noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222683256879965972.post-28024794734660142272011-01-31T22:35:00.000-07:002011-01-31T22:35:59.738-07:00MeowDear Readers,<br />
<br />
Once again I have been remiss in my blogging. And so, here we go.<br />
<br />
A while back I talked about getting approved for a new apartment. Before then we had been living with K and S, who had asked us to leave our pets somewhere else while we were there. My roommate Megan owned 3 birds and a cat and her parents were gracious enough to pet-sit for us until we got a new place of our own.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1925770&id=716766607" id="myphotolink" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img height="240" id="myphoto" src="http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs030.snc1/4298_85452136607_716766607_1925769_6903793_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">This is Wicket. She was our darling. She was mainly an indoor cat, with occasional afternoons spent outside. When Mom and Dad Willis decided to keep her for us they planned to keep her indoors. One day, she snuck out and was struck by a car. 2 weeks before we moved into our apartment. Megan had already requested the time off from work to make the 11.5 hour drive to pick her and the birds up and bring them home. We were devastated. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=5449207&id=716766607" id="myphotolink" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img height="240" id="myphoto" src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs264.snc4/39550_449217521607_716766607_5449178_983844_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">This is Kindle. We adopted her from the Humane Society not long after we lost Wicket. Our good friend Joanna was awesome enough to cat sit for us until the move was complete. At the Society she seemed like such a sweet, darling little kitty. Full of love and cuddles. When we got her home she turned into psycho kitty! She thought she was starving to death all the time and ate everything in sight. Honestly, Megan's plant that she rescued and nurtured back to life became dinner at one point. Recently she's mellowed out, though. And she actually uses the pet bed and the scratcher that Wicket scorned.</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">And so we've lived in our apartment since November 1st. It's small and kinda old, but it's ours. For Thanksgiving Mom and Dad Willis drove up with 2 of the Willis brothers and the nieces. But we'll save that for the next post, shall we? </div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">In memoriam,</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">Your Lonely Dreamer</div>~BeX~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11952871573522568613noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222683256879965972.post-16313972298918346552011-01-31T21:09:00.000-07:002011-01-31T21:09:18.135-07:00Know When To CryDear Readers,<br />
<br />
If you know me, you know that I cry easily. Very easily. I cry when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm angry, when I'm sick, when I hurt. I cry at TV shows weekly and when I hear certain songs. <br />
<br />
Here's a poem I wrote when I was 16 on this subject.<br />
<br />
Know When To Cry<br />
<br />
Even a warrior<br />
Knows when to cry<br />
Don't ever assume<br />
Their eyes always stay dry<br />
All the pressures put weight<br />
On the heart of a man<br />
For some there's a point<br />
When they've done all they can<br />
There's always a time<br />
To sit down and cry<br />
When you've had enough yelling<br />
Or seen a friend die<br />
Tears can be cleansing<br />
And not as bad as you think<br />
Weeping doesn't mean<br />
That your soul has gone weak<br />
So think of the warrior<br />
When you can no longer be strong<br />
Remember that crying<br />
Is not always wrong.<br />
<br />
12-24-99<br />
<br />
With dry eyes (for now),<br />
~Your Lonely Dreamer~BeX~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11952871573522568613noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222683256879965972.post-63823014035739776662011-01-03T22:59:00.000-07:002011-01-03T22:59:31.633-07:00Things I Love About Utah #3<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK8CB6tPtCsGy9qrLVwyYHUzViyUJl_GLjIdIYmZABe9Dg_fanLLIp2C4sPnCHjTQ_Ct145A2EmsTUZC2uo0Xy0TOkkyUx_vv24LeEQTcisuS9qu1Gz_aM24_dBMjJ_waW2Yjk-d2wQrc/s1600/Dec.+21%252C+2010+Fire+Hydrant.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK8CB6tPtCsGy9qrLVwyYHUzViyUJl_GLjIdIYmZABe9Dg_fanLLIp2C4sPnCHjTQ_Ct145A2EmsTUZC2uo0Xy0TOkkyUx_vv24LeEQTcisuS9qu1Gz_aM24_dBMjJ_waW2Yjk-d2wQrc/s320/Dec.+21%252C+2010+Fire+Hydrant.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMHqlEY8CwqBQu-SGdBmQrN63PkfunHk0o_hy0wYVfWPSZkwxOHNy6FtbbbkyoUgqErBVGaMPxSRULKhQUmZ6eE9dPBFGimxNs-euC5nmxyJv2f6nyy5u6PauuxF15O6qZMLi4LezVsag/s1600/Dec.+21%252C+2010+Shopping+Cart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMHqlEY8CwqBQu-SGdBmQrN63PkfunHk0o_hy0wYVfWPSZkwxOHNy6FtbbbkyoUgqErBVGaMPxSRULKhQUmZ6eE9dPBFGimxNs-euC5nmxyJv2f6nyy5u6PauuxF15O6qZMLi4LezVsag/s320/Dec.+21%252C+2010+Shopping+Cart.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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Dear Readers,<br />
<br />
Never in my life have I lived in a place with so much snow! Cedar City had snow, but I don't remember it being like this. It's beautiful! It's important to me to remember to stop and find things in everyday that make me happy to be where and who I am. Things have been difficult the last several years, but I can't dwell on the negativity. If I do, I'll just wallow in depression. Instead, I have to keep marching forward and find ways to make myself happy.<br />
<br />
I know I'm behind on my blogging, and I'm sorry. I have pics to post from Thanksgiving and Christmas. I have poetry that I know some of you say you want to read. Wednesday is a free day for me, except for taking kitty to the doctor's, laundry, and trying to sell some of the crap I have lying around here. (Haha, doesn't sound like such a free day when I put it that way.) I'll try to post on Wednesday. But thanks for sticking with me, readers. <br />
<br />
~ Your Cold and Lonely Dreamer~BeX~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11952871573522568613noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222683256879965972.post-46177780816767261372010-11-24T23:20:00.001-07:002010-11-24T23:22:56.162-07:00A Poem of a Post<span style="color: #d5a6bd;"></span><span style="color: #d5a6bd;">Dear Readers,</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">In a previous post, I mentioned the possibility of posting some of my old poetry here if you were interested. I had one or two requests that I do so, and so here we go. In my junior year of high school I was inducted into the National Honor Society. As part of the induction ceremony we had to compose something that said a bit about who we were. Being the poet I was, it was natural for me to write a poem. So, here's an idea of who I was when I was 16.</span><br />
<br />
<u><span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: large;">Me</span></u><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">At six a.m. I'm on my way,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">It's the start of another day,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">Band, geometry, physics to do,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">Phys. Ed, english, and history, too,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">Lunch is an hour of calmness and rest,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">Unless I have homework, then it's all stress.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">After the bell, I've got places to go,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">Practices, meetings, and all that you know,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">Leave campus at six, maybe even seven o'clock,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">Smelling of sweat and blackboard chalk,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">An hour or three with homework and friends,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">Then on to bed, and do it all again.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">But below this entire, hectic day,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">My real feelings are there, kept at bay,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">My soul is a deep and flowing sea,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">Not many people know the real and true me,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">But, you see, there are those who do,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">They are the ones that I know, too.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">They know my soul, gentle and kind,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">They know how to reach the depths of my mind,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">They know my courage and silent strength,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">The beliefs and morals I can discuss at length,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">The changes and hardships I've been through,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">And how it hardly ever makes me blue.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">How I can sit for hours and just think,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">And all the while I almost never blink,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">They know that I can be a ditz,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">And just how my brain goes on the blitz,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">They know my devotion to all that I do,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">My writing, my music, my religion, too.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">All of this is rolled into one,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">The worries, the fears, and mostly the fun,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">Mostly I laugh, sometimes I cry,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">Right now I am living, one day I will die,</span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">Rebecca is a person in a life full of love,<br />
That maybe one day you'll be part of.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">Riviting, right? </span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">~Your Lonely Dreamer</span>~BeX~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11952871573522568613noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222683256879965972.post-53972763321584745432010-11-12T12:21:00.000-07:002010-11-12T12:21:17.089-07:00Things I Love About Utah #2Dear Readers,<br />
<br />
In Phoenix it's very rare to be amazed and awed by the changing colors that we all associate with fall. Here, the very opposite is true. My roommates are getting very tired of hearing me exclaim about the beautiful fall foliage. (My 'f'' is sticking on my keyboard, so that last part was difficult to type!) I got so excited about actually seeing red, yellow and orange on the trees that I started taking pictures and thought I'd share them with you all. :)<br />
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Yours,<br />
~The Lonely Dreamer~BeX~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11952871573522568613noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222683256879965972.post-50219448878910080232010-10-19T16:17:00.000-06:002010-10-19T16:17:08.907-06:00With This Ring...<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Dear Readers,</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">It amazes me how much a material possession can mean to a person. How much history and emotion can be stored in a tiny circle of metal and stone. When it was given to me it was symbol of love and a promise of forever. It was proof that I was good enough. That after years of waiting it had finally been decided that I was good enough for forever. And my dreams were coming true.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">And then it became a reminder of the lies. Of the pain. Of the broken promises. It was a circle of bad memory that sat in drawers and boxes and haunted me. I knew that I needed to get rid of it. And when things got tough I resolved every time to sell it. And sabotaged every single attempt. Slept too late or ran out of time. Posted it online and left out key information so that no one would inquire about it. Yesterday I actually made it all the way into a pawn shop. Telling myself that I was finally getting rid of it. But not unless I could get at least half its original cost. Once again making it impossible to be rid of it.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Until I gave up. I broke down in tears in the middle of the pawn shop and sold it. And cried. For longer than I should have. And then went and bought myself lunch. Filled my car up with gas. Tomorrow I plan to get the oil changed in my car and buy some groceries.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">That's what that piece of metal and stone means now. It's help out of a desperate situation. It's a way to and from work, a way to see my friends. A way to feed myself.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">And somehow the memory of the haunting is still haunting me.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Feeling emotionally torn,</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Your Lonely Dreamer</span>~BeX~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11952871573522568613noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222683256879965972.post-21155849581340146572010-10-09T22:02:00.000-06:002010-10-09T22:02:04.169-06:00Today My Life Is Awesome!<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Dear Readers,</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">I realized the other day that I had figured out a way to both love my life and hate it at the same time. And then my friend Jack pointed out that I always seem so sad on my blogs. Well, today has been a great day, so I thought I'd write and tell you about it.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">As you may know, I've been really struggling with my finances. Since moving to Utah the only job I had been able to get was part-time at Bath and Body Works. I love this job, and I'm good at it. But part-time at barely over minimum wage is not even close to being enough to pay all of my bills. So I've been trying, unsuccessfully, to find a second job. And then to top it all off, we were asked to leave our place of residence. So not only was I looking for a job, but I was worrying about finding one that paid enough to be able to make rent. And actually getting accepted for an apartment on my meager wages. My beautiful roommate Megan came home the other day and told me that they were hiring at her job at Dollar Tree. She brought me an application, so I filled it out and turned it in. I got a call yesterday, and they hired me on the spot. And so job #2 is secure, at least for now. It may not be glamorous, but it's money in the bank. I'm listed as a temporary employee, but that is subject to change. While I was at work today Megan and my other roomie (Megan's sis) Angela went and turned in our applications for our apartment. And thanks to their amazing mother, who agreed to co-sign for us, we were approved! My two jobs combined still won't be enough for me to live comfortably, but it'll be quite a bit better.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">But even through the stresses of finding housing and work, which made me hate life, I had my friends. Honestly, this is what makes me love my life. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">My roommates are two of the best people I have ever known. They've been with me through these tough times, and many others, and have never turned their backs. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Since moving to Utah I have been able to spend a lot more time with my beautiful and amazing friend, Joanna. We don't get to see each other as often as we would like, since we still live about an hour away from one another and life gets in the way. But I've seen her more in the last three months than I had in the three years previous. It's like feeling a piece of my soul returned home. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">And yet, pieces are still out there in the world. I talk to my oldest (as in "known the longest" not "older than dirt") best friend almost every day online. Sometimes it's like we could just run next door and borrow a cup of sugar from each other. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">I've made new friends already here, and they give me something to look forward to every week. Not only because I get to sit and watch Glee as it actually airs, but because I get to spend time with Jack, Brian, Mesun, Wendy, and all the other Gleeks who show up on Tuesday. A big thanks goes out to those guys for letting me into your lives. You're awesome! </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">And I have so many other friends that love and care about me, and that I love and care about that I could sit here and type for hours and not list them all. If you've ever commented on this blog, you're on the list. If you've ever read this blog, you're there. Have you commented on one of my FaceBook statuses? Then I list you, as well. Ever left a prayer on my voicemail because I've been on your mind? You know you're on the list. And the list is so much longer than the people who fall into those categories. I am loved, but more importantly, I LOVE. And that's what truly keeps me going. Keeps me smiling. Keeps me breathing.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">When I'm With You I'm Not So Lonely,</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">~The Dreamer</span>~BeX~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11952871573522568613noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222683256879965972.post-81706990712712653722010-10-05T19:17:00.000-06:002010-10-05T19:17:41.543-06:00Reasons My Job Search Sucks!<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Dear Readers,</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">In no particular order...</span><br />
<br />
<ul><li><span style="color: #b4a7d6;">There's nothing like filling out the "Special Skills and Achievements" section of an application to make you realize that you have none.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #b4a7d6;">We found at least 2 places today that had signs posted exclaiming "Now Hiring!" or "Join Our Team!" and directing us to the company website. When you visit the site you are informed that there are no positions available within 100 miles, and if you choose to fill out an application anyway (to be considered when a position opens) you get a rejection email within seconds of hitting the "Submit" button.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #b4a7d6;">I find these personality assessment quizzes ridiculous! Either they ask you the same 5 or 6 questions over and over again for an hour (sometimes worded differently, sometimes not) or they are blatantly accusatory and hostile. I actually had one question ask me "How much have you taken from a job, other than basic office supplies?" and then give me a multiple choice! Seriously?!?</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Why isn't there a generic job application that you can fill out once, photocopy and then turn in? They all ask the same damn questions and have the same damn disclaimers. Why do I have to get writer's cramp and chip my nail polish filling these things out? Why do I even bother making up a resume? No one ever reads it anyway.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #b4a7d6;">No one is hiring! And the places that are have such a deep pool of applicants to pull from that I never even have a chance.</span></li>
</ul><span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Yeah, that's the list ... for now. My brain has turned to mush and sitting here trying to think of things is just pissing me off all over again.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Destitute and Desperate,</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">~Your Lonely Dreamer</span>~BeX~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11952871573522568613noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222683256879965972.post-87624733022351406502010-10-02T23:01:00.001-06:002010-10-02T23:02:35.017-06:00To Thine Ownself Be True<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Dear Readers,</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">On Wednesday night I got to go see <em>Hamlet </em>by Mr. William Shakespeare with my awesome roommate Angela. This is one of the things I love about having a theater major as a roommate. As a theater major it's required that the students see a certain number of plays throughout the semester, and sometimes even specific ones. So this week Angela had to go see <em>Hamlet</em> at the Pioneer Memorial Theater and since she gets student priced tickets it was actually affordable!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">For a Shakespeare lover, I've read surprisingly few of his plays. Mostly I've just read the ones I've performed in. I knew the story of <em>Hamlet</em> going in, but had never read or seen the play before. I had always wondered how anyone could realistically portray the character of Hamlet. He has such incredible depth, and such a range of emotion in such a short time. Kenneth Branagh did an amazing job on film, but film is so very different from the stage. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">The actor playing Hamlet at PMT was phenomenal! I actually almost cried during the curtain call. And Ophelia? Outstanding! I never realized that Polonius was a comic character. I never realized that some of the phrases I've grown up with are actually lines from this play! "To thine ownself be true" is the one coming to mind currently. I wish I could remember more to write about, but I was so entranced for the entire 3 hours that it's all a haze of emotion. Plus, we went on Wednesday and I've slept a lot since then. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">I would tell you all to get in your cars and go see it right now, but tonight was sadly the last performance. Oh, and another thing. The exit signs there are purple! Yes, purple! That makes me happy.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Focusing on the positive in order to stay alive,</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Your Lonely Dreamer</span>~BeX~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11952871573522568613noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222683256879965972.post-61086231508333199872010-09-25T23:54:00.003-06:002010-10-02T22:29:10.546-06:00Why This Week Has Not Rocked...<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Dear Readers,</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">If you remember, my last post was all about how excited I was to be able to watch my TV shows that have come back this week. That plan turned into an epic fail. You see...</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">We live with K and S, who are the aunt and uncle of my beautiful roommates. K works from home, and needs the internet to do so. He discovered that our network was interfering with his network (since they're hooked up to the same internet) and so he cut us off. We have no internet. I'm losing my effing mind!! </span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">I've been unable to watch my shows. Thank goodness for Hulu keeping them queued up for me. I've been unable to look for and apply for work. I haven't been able to check Facebook or the news. No random 'internet ninja' searches. My computer has actually been turned off for 24 hours. Right now I'm at a friend's house who is kind enough to let me sign on to her network so that I can catch up with the world. I've missed you!</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">~Your Lonely Dreamer</span>~BeX~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11952871573522568613noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222683256879965972.post-59757156669116459872010-09-22T01:09:00.003-06:002010-10-02T22:29:42.289-06:00Why I'm Determined to Make This Week Rock!!<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Dear Readers,</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Personally, I'm struggling with lots of issues right now. My financial situation absolutely and completely blows. I'm gonna have to count pennies to have enough gas to get to work and back tomorrow. My father's health is deteriorating. He and I have never had a good relationship and I'm trying to figure out a way to positively re-connect with him before it's too late. I just found out tonight that my grandmother's health is also very poor. She visited the doctor today because she's been feeling ill. The doctor was unable to find anything wrong with her, but said she's fading fast and asked if she had all her paperwork in order. Yikes! How on Earth am I going to be able to make it to Texas for funerals if it comes to that (cross my fingers, knock on wood, pray to God that it doesn't) when I can't even get to work? </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;">But this week is going to be awesome! I've decided. You see, I'm a television junkie. I love TV! And this week is the kick off of the Fall Season! </span></div><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v2658/155/61/8214706739/n8214706739_1444417_4650213.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><img border="0" height="320" qx="true" src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v2658/155/61/8214706739/n8214706739_1444417_4650213.jpg" width="239" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://usahangout.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Dancing-with-the-stars-season-9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6; font-size: xx-small;">This image is subject to copyright.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span></div><div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><em>Dancing With The Starts</em> started last night! I discovered <em>DWTS</em> last season, mainly because I wanted to watch Kate Gosselin. But now I just love the show. I don't have a favorite so far this season (it's only been one episode!) but I think Jennifer Grey (from<em> Dirty Dancing</em> fame) is a contender!</span></div><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.rosezzy.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/glee-season-2-poster_556x373.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><img border="0" height="214" qx="true" src="http://www.rosezzy.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/glee-season-2-poster_556x373.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><div align="center"><span style="color: #b4a7d6; font-size: xx-small;">This image is subject to copyright.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Tonight, my friend Jack threw a party for the season premier of <em>Glee. </em>We all crowded into his adorable apartment, ate cupcakes (in homage to the episode <em>Wheels), </em>drank grape slushies (because glee kids are always getting slushie facials) and Gleeked out!! I had so much fun, even if the episode wasn't as spectacular as we'd all hoped it would be. To read Jack's "Gleek Critique" of tonight's episode go </span><a href="http://joaquinthechihuahua.blogspot.com/2010/09/gleek-critique-audition-episode.html"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;">here</span></a><span style="color: #b4a7d6;">. </span></div><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs624.snc4/58449_10150252964430647_68471055646_14880284_7653502_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><img border="0" height="320" qx="true" src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs624.snc4/58449_10150252964430647_68471055646_14880284_7653502_n.jpg" width="240" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6; font-size: xx-small;">This image is subject to copyright.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs201.snc1/6829_139207132122_126921512122_2693276_2778421_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><img border="0" height="320" qx="true" src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs201.snc1/6829_139207132122_126921512122_2693276_2778421_n.jpg" width="215" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6; font-size: xx-small;">This image is subject to copyright.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs424.snc4/46763_422592164747_6092929747_4906447_1554764_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><img border="0" height="320" qx="true" src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs424.snc4/46763_422592164747_6092929747_4906447_1554764_n.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6; font-size: xx-small;">This image is subject to copyright.</span></div><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Thursday is another great night of television premiers! <em>Grey's Anatomy</em> and <em>Private Practice</em> both had me sobbing my eyes out at last year's season finales and I can't wait to find out what everyone is up to. They all have some serious healing to do! I'll be there healing and crying with them every single week. I've watched both shows since the very beginning and I feel kinda like they're family. <em>The Office</em> is just plain old fun! Although it's really sad that this will be Michael Scott's (Steve Carell) last season! I'm having a very hard time imagining what it will be like without him.</span></div><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs358.snc4/41814_5298599940_8855_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><img border="0" height="320" qx="true" src="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs358.snc4/41814_5298599940_8855_n.jpg" width="174" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6; font-size: xx-small;">This image is subject to copyright.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Sunday brings back another show I discovered last year. <em>The Amazing Race</em> is about teams of people who race around the world completing ridiculous tasks to win money. So fun! I've thought about going on it myself, but there's no way I could complete the food and physical challenges, so I'd be out the first week! </span></div><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;">See, told you I was addicted! And these are just the shows that are starting this week. I watch lots of other shows that are either in the off-season right now, or have already started. Plus, on Saturday, I'm planning to go to Springville and play some GURPS with my girls. (Yes, I'm a gamer nerd.) And I've decided that the joy of my old trusty TV friends coming back and getting together with my sisters in nerd-dom will be enough to off-set the other crap going on in my life. And when I decide something, it happens. Unless Life decides that I'm full of crap and that it knows better. Then things will go the way Life decides and I'll be back here complaining about it. Until then...</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;">These are the Reflections of,</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Your Lonely Dreamer</span></div>~BeX~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11952871573522568613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222683256879965972.post-43275702537810406782010-09-17T02:00:00.001-06:002010-10-02T22:25:56.191-06:00Glancing at my Last Post...<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">... has me thinking one thing. <u>Proofread</u>, <u><strong>Proofread</strong></u>, <u><strong><em>Proofread</em></strong></u>!</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHidWSt2Pl-OQy4cuRX8HHE845BdyIsrKcQIdcT1fR7XpjN3ke4j4pD2mhc35fV3cdyD42EiDFemLqaiwjJ8MA1uzZbMJ-c5l9bB7GcEZYxSQgEnimtRCQsDa5f6rnKSgl1rp4mOmGxJQ/s1600/funny-pictures-cat-proofreads-a-column.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><img border="0" height="400" qx="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHidWSt2Pl-OQy4cuRX8HHE845BdyIsrKcQIdcT1fR7XpjN3ke4j4pD2mhc35fV3cdyD42EiDFemLqaiwjJ8MA1uzZbMJ-c5l9bB7GcEZYxSQgEnimtRCQsDa5f6rnKSgl1rp4mOmGxJQ/s400/funny-pictures-cat-proofreads-a-column.jpg" width="295" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;">And now I'm thinking that 'proofread' is a very strange looking word!</span></div>~BeX~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11952871573522568613noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222683256879965972.post-45954131865040750982010-09-16T21:02:00.002-06:002010-10-02T22:28:09.836-06:00Trivia!<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Dear Readers,</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Well, here we are. Day 2 of having this blog, and I have writer's block. I'm asking myself what to write about tonight. Asking what my loyal readers would want to read about. And then I decided.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><span style="font-size: large;"><em><u>Me!</u></em></span> </span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">But, what about me? So, for lack of a better idea, I'm going to post a list of things you may or may not know about me. How long a list? I have no idea. I'll type til I run out of things to say, then probably keep writing til the list is a nice round even number (cause I'm OCD like that.) And, without further ado...</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">1. My full name is Rebecca Lea Hackett Lisor. Hackett is my maiden name. I'm trying to decided if I want to change it back to my maiden name when my divorce is final, leave it as it is, or make up something entirely new and different. My middle name is pronounced Lee. It's the same as my mother's middle name, and when my grandmother gave it to her everyone said it was pronounce Leah. My NaNa told everyone she could spell it B-I-L-L and it would still be pronounced LEE if she wanted it to be! :)</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">2. I'm in the process of divorcing the man I dated for 9 years, was married to for 5 months, and have been separated from for 3 years. And when I say in the process, I mean I'm waiting for him to get off his lazy ass, finish the paperwork and send it to me!</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">3. I have 3 tattoos. The first is a fairy on my ankle. She has her knees drawn up and her hair is covering her face. I love it because you can't tell what she's feeling. Is she crying? Thinking? Sleeping? Laughing? And yes, her feet are missing. I like to say that it means she's grounded, and yet retains the ability to fly.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhanqrh3XVmdrxpjhgYIZYHNtExSP7WyMQkJiiTxYK-bXx2viHjOeBYcLMdJieGlfJ_px5SYfKslLDUJ1nGzlOqeK4bBXzTZQXLWYdU5GDD7nvRERmYWFZkEFRVn9gIHCnzVR5nxB4QOEI/s1600/Fairy+Tat+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><img border="0" qx="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhanqrh3XVmdrxpjhgYIZYHNtExSP7WyMQkJiiTxYK-bXx2viHjOeBYcLMdJieGlfJ_px5SYfKslLDUJ1nGzlOqeK4bBXzTZQXLWYdU5GDD7nvRERmYWFZkEFRVn9gIHCnzVR5nxB4QOEI/s320/Fairy+Tat+1.jpg" /></span></a></div><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">The second is a turtle on my shoulder blade. The ex and I got matching tats after our honeymoon in Hawaii. Mine isn't easy to see, but his on his calf muscle. Anytime he's in shorts, in the shower, or fooling around with the home-wrecking bitch he has to see his. If you know where to look, and look carefully, our anniversary date is hidden in the coloring.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyg5kGxNCilWD951vROG4OXsEszZYo1-LCc8jMoRO6FDeOijq25YYb_Inm3yFhnmvaWdf-MElDabDq8NW1ChmbooIndz3e-np0zz_GVe8JIXt13rd_JXdVOXZw9fTZ33f3PECOIq7Ne_w/s1600/Turtle+Tat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><img border="0" qx="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyg5kGxNCilWD951vROG4OXsEszZYo1-LCc8jMoRO6FDeOijq25YYb_Inm3yFhnmvaWdf-MElDabDq8NW1ChmbooIndz3e-np0zz_GVe8JIXt13rd_JXdVOXZw9fTZ33f3PECOIq7Ne_w/s320/Turtle+Tat.jpg" /></span></a></div><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">And third, I have three stars on my inner right wrist. I have 3 nephews that were born just shortly after The Split, as I refer to it. Those boys were the only thing that got me up off the couch, eating, and living some semblance of a life again. This tattoo honors them. People often confuse it with a band-aid on my wrist, which I think is appropriate. I never actually considered suicide during some of the darkest days of my life, but I love the symbolism of the boys being the band-aid that saved my life.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVgxi3kcTtCsvcGEBfXweURL94tQz2skLbBNF5_aZ0Ov4A-MQ7mPZTmXH5rmSiZ7E_0sDx0xSZzrq778OC4k3tc2FhCTudF2rkuBRIre7wtj0bwSQg_PuM-5vnQNqK98uT416oxLHbzAg/s1600/Wrist+Tat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><img border="0" qx="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVgxi3kcTtCsvcGEBfXweURL94tQz2skLbBNF5_aZ0Ov4A-MQ7mPZTmXH5rmSiZ7E_0sDx0xSZzrq778OC4k3tc2FhCTudF2rkuBRIre7wtj0bwSQg_PuM-5vnQNqK98uT416oxLHbzAg/s320/Wrist+Tat.jpg" /></span></a></div><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">4. I have the most amazing mother! She raised my sister and I by herself (even when my abusive, addicted father was around he wasn't any help.) And now she's helping my sister raise her sons. I love, Love, LOVE my mom! She really is one of my best friends.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">5. I used to play bass guitar for a band in college. Sounds cool, huh? Yep, until you realize that I never wrote any of my own music. Our singer/songwriter/guitarist also wrote the guitar and bass parts. I just did what I was told. I did write lyrics for a couple of songs, but they weren't good enough to make it on our CD. Yes, we made a CD. But just because we were all splitting up and moving away and we wanted a keepsake of our music.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">6. I graduated 5th in my high school class. Again, impressive, right? Until I tell you that my class was made up of 32 students!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">7. I used to be a poet. I'd like to be one again. When I was in high school I wrote poetry as easily as I spoke. If anyone is interested, perhaps I'll post some here. As an adult, though, I've finished very few poems. I get ideas for them that haunt me until I write them down. I'll start to compose the poem, get stuck or have to put it down, and then never come back to it. I'm working on fixing it though.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">8. I feel like my brain is dying. I feel like I used to be a whole lot smarter than I am now. I don't know if it has something to do with the people I spend time with being smarter now, so I'm dumber by comparison, or if my brain is just getting slow from lack of use. I'd really love to wake it up again. I keep talking about reading and studying Shakespeare again, but am generally much more motivated when other people are doing things with me. No one is very interested in analyzing Shakespeare and so I have to motivate myself, which is something I suck at.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">9. I love the theater! Walking into a place where a play is being produced is like coming home. It doesn't actually even have to be theater. The community theater group I was involved in in Phoenix met, rehearsed, and performed in local churches. But picking up a script, rehearsing, memorizing, doing sets, costumes, makeup.... all of it! I miss it terribly.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">And now, dear readers, we are at the point where I don't know what else to write, but cannot finish this without a 10th thing on the list. I told ya it would happen! ... A-ah! Got one!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">10. I love to make up words, or call things by names other than those normal society has given them. For example, my cell phone is called my hello. I've actually said "I left my hello in the car." The past tense of snow is snew. As in "It snew 4 inches yesterday!" (Blow = blew. Know = knew. And so forth.) The things outside in your lawn that squirt water to keep the grass green? Those a spinkers. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">And now you're all wondering why the hell you've bothered to read through this dribble. Or if it's actually worth being friends with such a weirdo. But remember, without me you would have spent the last few minutes bored instead of reading my inane ramblings. Or, you would have spent them doing some productive and my little list here was the break you poor brain needed. Either way, you love me for it!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Lovingly,</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Your Lonely Dreamer</span>~BeX~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11952871573522568613noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222683256879965972.post-949409089474336192010-09-16T01:05:00.002-06:002010-10-02T22:27:44.397-06:00Things I Love About Utah #1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Dear Readers,</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAcrBYXyIX4cgb0khv7oi31HrxAgmWU3SEjWyL7P2P7iR7uoERcjAlBAcfhlz5Vn8oCcc8X66zRu3lgFcq9osElbUoe7DLeeV5F_q7lc5B26h-C45oxKiAMFfccQyQeEAoEnYNQZoZPd4/s1600/100_2066.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><img border="0" qx="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAcrBYXyIX4cgb0khv7oi31HrxAgmWU3SEjWyL7P2P7iR7uoERcjAlBAcfhlz5Vn8oCcc8X66zRu3lgFcq9osElbUoe7DLeeV5F_q7lc5B26h-C45oxKiAMFfccQyQeEAoEnYNQZoZPd4/s320/100_2066.JPG" /></span></a></div><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br />
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">I <em>love</em> Stephen's Gourmet Hot Cocoa!! It's the best hot chocolate on the planet, and can only be found in Utah. (Ok, that last bit's not entirely true. But it's very very hard to find in Arizona, which is the only other place I've looked.) And, the fact that I'm drinking some tonight, in September, is amazing. In Hot-As-Hell Land (also known as Phoenix, AZ) even thinking about a hot drink at this time of year is enough to make you sweat. </span>~BeX~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11952871573522568613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222683256879965972.post-24240824341428365402010-09-15T13:02:00.001-06:002010-10-02T22:26:57.790-06:00First!<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Dear Readers,</span><br />
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">I hate it when people comment things like "First!" on Facebook and Myspace. They may do it on Twitter and other social networks as well, but I don't use those, so I don't know. But seriously, if you don't actually have a comment on the posting, then don't say anything at all! We don't care if you're "first"... especially since 12 other people are posting the exact same word at the exact same time!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">:Rant Over:</span><br />
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">So, here we are. My first blog. I've been feeling more and more lately that my brain is just too full. Lots of difficult things going on, and to write about it makes me feel better. And one day I'll look back on these postings and think "Wow, you whiny little cry-baby. It wasn't that bad." I remember finding a diary from high school and reading through it. I found an entry lamenting the fact that I had accidentally spilled Mt. Dew on my CDs the night before and wondering if they'd ever work again. They did. A little warm water and a washcloth and they were as good as new. And here we are 10 years later and I don't even listen to CDs anymore (not often, anyway.) </span><br />
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">But, I digress.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">But a warning to anyone who might be reading this: It may get down right depressing at times. As this is as place for me to vent my frustrations and worries, as well as keep anyone who cares informed about what is going on in my life, it get may get difficult to read. But I'll do my best to make it entertaining in the process. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">And this, ladies and gentlemen, concludes the first ramble and reflections of your Lonely Dreamer,</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">~BeX~</span>~BeX~http://www.blogger.com/profile/11952871573522568613noreply@blogger.com1